Puppy love and immature relationships definitely have a very important place in everyone’s life, but we all know that it can’t always be that way. You can’t be a woman or man in his/her 20s or 30s who’s still having the same type of relationship you had when you were 19.
If you do, then it’s clear sign that you’re not evolving — and life is about evolution. Every woman/man deserves a mature relationship, and there’s no time like the present to examine the relationship goals that you have with your partner is an immature or the mature one.
Here are 10 ways to know where your relationship is heading to:
- You both hold grudges.
If you or your partner thinks that holding grudges is the best way to teach other a lesson, you both sadly mistaken. In a relationship, your partner or you, both are bound to make each other upset at some point, and arguments will happen whether you or he/she try to avoid them or not. But once you both accept an apology for the part you both played in the disagreement, you both need to learn how to let go and move on.
If you both keep harping on the past, and constantly hold grudges, you both are only causing more damage to the relationship. Holding grudges is a sign of immaturity and yours in that case in an immature relationship.
- You hate communicating.
As much as talking about one’s feelings can be really hard for some people, a big sign that you’re in an immature relationship is that you can’t discuss these types of things. Neither you nor your partner can tell when one is hurt by something the other said, or that one is happy because of something the other did. If/when the other person forgets anniversary, one can express his/her disappointment without hesitation.
If this is not just the case, you are in an immature relationship.
- It’s all about being physical.
In the beginning of every relationship, of course, one wants to spend a lot of time getting physical with his/her partner. You both can’t take hands off from each other. But at some point, the two of you will need to unlock lips and really get to know each other. If all you have in common is your physical chemistry, the relationship is bound to fail over time.
In a relationship, a person should keep his/her partner physically as well as mentally stimulated by engaging in thought-provoking conversations and sharing his/her interests with him/her. If this is not the case, my dear you are in an immature relationship.
- You don’t have time for each other.
If you or your partner frequently cancels plans to meet each other, this shows your relationship is in an immature stage. Frequent cancellations are a way for the immature partner to maintain control when he/she feels like things are out of his/her hands. Breaking plans last minute makes him/her feel a sense of power in his/her relationship, but soon enough, his/her partner will tire of his/her wishy-washy ways and may move out.
- No goals for future.
It’s not like it just hits you one day, but at some point, you realize that all your future plans include this person, and it’s suddenly not scary. In fact, if anything is scary, it’s the thought of them not being part of your future. If it doesn’t happen to you, you are then in an immature relationship.
- No time to Listen to each other
The immature person is only concerned with all things that are related to him/her. He/she wants to talk about his/her problems all day long, and he/she demands that his/her partner sit there and listen to him/her ramble on and on. But the second his/her partner tries to get advice about a situation that’s going on in his/her life, the immature partner will completely shut down. He/she doesn’t care what the other has to say because, in his/her mind, it doesn’t even involve him/her.
If your partner doesn’t pay attention, listen or respond to your talks, you are in an immature relationship.
- No emotional trust
It’s okay to keep a wall up until you’re comfortable and you start to really trust your partner. But if the two of you have been dating for awhile, and you still aren’t ready to emotionally let your partner in to your life, then you’re definitely not mature enough to be in a relationship.
There are many reasons why people hold back when it comes to expressing themselves. Maybe it stems from something that happened during their childhood, or perhaps a past relationship has damaged them. But either way, closing yourself off from your partner is definitely immature.
- Constant fight
Because every single couple fights, no matter how adult their relationship is, what proves ultimate maturity is working out a problem and reaching a resolution. While some arguments may have you wanting to run for the door, being in a mature relationship doesn’t allow you that. Nor do you want to end things on that note. You want to talk it all out and address those feelings.
If this is not your case, you are definitely in a wrong relationship.
- Either of you is selfish.
If either of you is too concerned about what you’re getting out of the relationship, then maybe it’s best that you end things now and be on your own. You or your partner deserves to be with someone who can reciprocate and show that they love him/her unselfishly.
- Unwillingness to tolerate difference
I truly believe that one of the routes to happy relationships is a mature acceptance that the keys to your partner’s happiness/love/satisfaction are not the same as your own. If you are not happy what your partners make happy, then I seriously doubt your relationship.